Trust the Emotion, Not the Intensity: Nurturing Self-Trust in Borderline Personality Disorder through Mindful Emotional Exploration
Living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) frequently entails navigating intense emotions that strain the relationship with oneself. The upheavals of emotions and subsequent reactions may result in a loss of both trust and a connection to the essential signals emanating from our emotional body. Our emotions serve as vital signals designed to guide us towards safety and optimal functioning, yet they can be either misinterpreted or entirely shut out if perceived as unsafe or untrustworthy. Rebuilding this delicate relationship and forging pathways toward deeper self-trust becomes a crucial endeavor.
This article delves into both evidence-based strategies and spiritual approaches designed to restore self-trust by addressing the intricate emotional experiences linked to BPD. Rooted in both established therapeutic interventions and ancient wisdom traditions, these strategies strive to cultivate a more connected relationship with one’s emotional self.
Slowing Down the Emotional Current:
The first step toward rebuilding trust within one’s emotional body involves slowing down the rush of intense feelings. Evidence-based therapeutic approaches, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), emphasize the importance of mindfulness in emotional regulation for individuals with BPD (Linehan, 1993). By pausing and creating space for self-reflection, individuals can navigate the emotional landscape more deliberately.
Slowing down the emotional current through the practice of becoming the witness draws inspiration from both Buddhism and Hinduism, emphasizing mindfulness and self-awareness. In Buddhism, the concept of “mindfulness” or “sati” involves cultivating a keen awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, and sensations without attachment or aversion. By becoming the observer of our emotional experiences, we create a mental space that allows for non-judgmental awareness. Similarly, Hinduism’s teachings on “sakshi bhava” encourage the role of the witness, wherein individuals observe their mental and emotional states as a detached witness. This practice involves acknowledging emotions without becoming entangled in their narrative, fostering a state of equanimity. By embracing the wisdom from these spiritual traditions, individuals can slow the emotional current, cultivating a mindful and observant perspective that paves the way for greater self-understanding and emotional regulation.
Identifying and Naming Feelings:
Once the emotional current is slowed, the next step is to identify and name the feelings present. Evidence from cognitive-behavioral interventions for BPD highlights the significance of emotional literacy (Bateman & Fonagy, 2010). Developing emotional literacy enables individuals to articulate and understand the nuanced shades of their emotions, fostering self-awareness and understanding.
Naming our feelings becomes a powerful act of trust-building and deeper understanding. It resonates with spiritual practices rooted in Eastern philosophies. In Buddhism, the act of naming emotions aligns seamlessly with the concept of “Vedana,” inviting a deep recognition and understanding of the nature of sensations and feelings.
Jnana Yoga is one of the traditional paths of yoga, focusing on knowledge, wisdom, and the realization of the true self. In Jnana Yoga, individuals engage in self-inquiry to understand the nature of reality and their own existence. The practice involves asking profound questions about the self, such as “Who am I?” and delving into a deep exploration of one’s thoughts and emotions. The goal is to attain direct knowledge and insight into the nature of the mind and consciousness. While it may not directly involve the act of naming emotions, the philosophy of Jnana Yoga encourages a profound investigation into the workings of the mind and emotions. Through this process of self-inquiry, individuals aim to gain a deep understanding of their inner landscape, fostering authenticity and self-awareness. Replace resistance with curiosity and enjoy the ease of acceptance.
Validating Emotions:
Validation, a cornerstone of DBT, has been extensively studied and shown to be crucial in reducing emotional suffering for individuals with BPD (Linehan, 1993). Beyond mere acknowledgment, validation is a pathway to acceptance — a profound embracing of one’s emotional experiences. It involves recognizing that emotions, irrespective of their intensity, are valid responses to the intricacies of internal and external stimuli. By extending validation, we open the door to self-compassion, inviting the powerful signals of our emotions to enter our being rather than pushing them away. This transformative step marks a shift from resistance to allowance, fostering a non-judgmental relationship with our emotional selves.
Many spiritual and philosophical traditions share similar principles related to the concept of emotional validation. One notable example is the philosophy of Mindfulness in Buddhism, which emphasizes accepting and observing experiences without attachment or aversion.
Additionally, the concept of validation aligns with certain aspects of Stoicism, an ancient Greek philosophy. Stoicism encourages individuals to acknowledge and accept their emotions without being overwhelmed by them. The Stoic practice of “acknowledging but not being ruled by emotions” echoes the idea of validation, where emotions are recognized as valid responses, but their power to dictate one’s actions is consciously moderated.
In various forms of meditation and mindfulness practices found in Taoism, there’s a parallel emphasis on accepting the flow of thoughts and emotions without judgment. The Taoist principle of Wu Wei, often translated as “non-action” or “non-striving,” involves allowing things to unfold naturally, aligning with the acceptance inherent in the concept of validation.
While the specific terminology and cultural contexts may differ, the underlying theme of acknowledging, accepting, and allowing the full spectrum of human experiences is a common thread found in many spiritual and philosophical traditions worldwide.
Deciphering Intensity on a Cognitive Level and transitioning to Frontal Cortex Processing:
To rebuild self-trust, it’s essential to engage cognitive processes in deciphering the intensity of emotions. This aligns with principles from Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is effective in helping individuals challenge and modify negative thought patterns (Beck, 1990). Cognitive strategies can contribute to a more balanced and realistic appraisal of emotional intensity.
Identifying the intensity and labeling the associated feelings initiate a crucial shift from the reactive, instinct-driven responses of the reptilian brain to the more deliberate and logical processing of the frontal cortex. This transition allows individuals to move from impulsive reactions to thoughtful responses, empowering them to approach emotional challenges with a greater sense of control and self-awareness.
In the Hindu tradition, the concept of “Jnana Yoga,” the path of knowledge, involves moving from instinctual reactions (known as “Pratyahara”) to higher cognitive functions (known as “Dharana” and “Dhyana”), reflecting the ascent from instinct to intellect. This spiritual perspective adds depth to the understanding of this transition, framing it as a holistic and transformative journey toward greater self-mastery.
Expelling Energy Safely:
Managing intense emotions involves finding constructive outlets for expelling the energy associated with those feelings. Evidence on emotion regulation strategies indicates that engaging in physical activities and creative expressions can be effective in managing intense emotions (Aldao, Nolen-Hoeksema, & Schweizer, 2010). By gaining newfound tools to channel emotional energy into productive endeavors, individuals not only gain a sense of control but also create a positive feedback loop that reinforces self-trust and confidence.
Expelling energy safely finds resonance with spiritual practices that emphasize the mindful movement of energy within the body. In Eastern traditions such as Qi Gong and Yoga, the flow of energy, often referred to as “Qi” or “Prana,” plays a vital role in maintaining overall well-being. Engaging in physical activities aligns with the principles of these practices, where conscious movements and postures are believed to facilitate the harmonious flow of energy.
In Qi Gong, specific movements and breathwork aim to cultivate and circulate Qi throughout the body, promoting a balanced and harmonious state. This intentional movement of energy corresponds with the idea of expelling energy safely, as individuals harness the transformative power of their emotions to fuel purposeful physical actions.
Likewise, in Yoga, the practice of various asanas (postures) and pranayama (breath control) serves to balance and direct the flow of Prana. These practices serve as tools to strengthen the symbiotic relationship between the emotional and physical dimensions.
Creating a Mindful Emotional Routine:
Incorporating mindfulness into daily routines is supported by research indicating its positive impact on emotional well-being and stress reduction (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). Establishing a mindful emotional routine involves setting aside dedicated time for reflection, self-check-ins, and intentional practices that promote emotional well-being. Consistency in these practices cultivates resilience and gradually transforms the relationship with emotions.
Rebuilding self-trust within the context of BPD demands a mindful and intentional approach to emotional exploration. Integrating principles from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, and infusing mindfulness-based interventions with the wisdom of spiritual practices empowers individuals to establish a foundation for a healthier relationship with their emotional selves. Through these practices, the journey toward self-trust unfolds as a transformative process, transitioning from overwhelming emotions and disconnection to a redefined relationship marked by subtlety, deep listening, and acceptance.